Monday, November 15, 2010

The Name Ultimatum

I dare you to try and find a cooler clock.
I've Waited a Long Time for this

I'm finally launching my own blog. Mine. No one elses. Aren't you happy? I am.

Expect me to be blogging about everything, everywhere. Expect maniacal writerly insights. Expect the unexpected.

If you do all of that, you just might read my posts.

Wow. I'm excited.

Warning: hope you like humor and energy mixed in with life changing revelations. Cuz that's exactly what you're going to get.

The Posts 

The annual mugshot after alleged tax scams.
I'll be posting some long ones. I'll be posting some short ones. When? Often. At least 2 long ones (let's call them lengthys) and 3 short ones (let's call them shortys) a week.

Today, you get a lengthy.

PS: I'm a writer. If I start blogging about my creative writing, just remember I warned you and it's not totally random.

Forthwith to the post!

Spelling Awards

Yesterday, I looked through some of my documents. Some legal. Some illegal. (Joking of course.) And all boring.

Until I came across old awards. They made me laugh. They reminded me of humankind's inability to spell. Even at the academic level.

My middle school "Merit Roll" was made out to Dmytri Karpov. 

It can actually spell its own name!
My "Junior Achievement Certificate" (Don't ask me what that is,) to Dmitry Karpov.

I wondered if I should track these guys down. Hm...

Seriously, people. Please spell my name correctly. These were awards. AWARDS!
I could have used them on my resume, framed them and hung them on my wall like a piece of nude art. But you had to go and misspell them. You evil little spellers, you.

Of course, I don't mean YOU. No. I was addressing the academia of my country with their own shiny diplomas. (They're lucky they didn't write those themselves.)

The Two Titles

To be fair, my name is difficult to spell. And I go by two names. Really, I go by Dmytry. But my legal name is Dmytro because immigration can't translate too well. So, I could understand a few messups. They're still frustrating though. Make me want to hit things with other things. Possibly flaming things.

In case you didn't get the reference.
So, perhaps you're wondering why I haven't changed my legal name? Simple. That costs money: something I've been a little short on for the past lifetime. 

Maybe when my writing career takes off and my pen name is so popular humans can finally spell it, I'll get around to that.

True Names

Ever heard "Names are Power?" Ever heard something similar? You probably have. And it's true: names are power.

But not in the "I know your name. You are mine now," kind of way. No. Knowing someone's name has never given me power over them. It has earned me respect. Yes. And appreciation. (Especially if I spelled it right.) But the only names that give me power are my own.

When people know your name they address you as an individual. They acknowledge your presence and your opinions. They affiliate them with you.

And you become more than "that guy" or "that girl" or "that heshe."

Eragon: using and abusing true names.
You become a symbol of your ideals, your skills, your knowledge.

The more people know you, the more power you have. The more people love you, the more influence you attain.

But without a name, you have nothing.

That's why people obsess over nicknames. Cuz that's their entire life summarized into one word. (A couple of words in some cases.)

That's why people obsess over titles. Titles that carry with them an established reputation. Established power.

If you meet your president, but don't hear his or her name, don't realize it's him or her, are they going to have the same power over you?

No. They'll be a punk trying to con you. Or a lunatic on the streets.

Listen, if you walk around nameless you'll never achieve anything.

Nothing has value without a name.

This is the physical manifestation of your name.
Gone with the Name

Do you have a project in the works? A book? Give it a name. It doesn't matter if you're on draft 1 or 100. If you're advertising or if the idea's still turning in your head.

Even a temporary one. Because that's the only way it's going to accumulate interest. The only way it's going to gain power.

And when people see your name on that business card or that book, they're going to attribute that power to you.

They're going to view you as more than just a person, more than just a name. They're going to view you as an individual.

And when they talk of your deeds, they will talk of you.

And who knows, they might even spell your name right.

Write your future.


  1. Never change your name. Ever. I love your name. And I love you. And someday everyone will know how to spell it. Or, they will keep misspelling it, but you will still be famous (like Stephenie Meyer, her name is constantly misspelled. LOL)

    You are a rockstar writer babe. Someday soon we will all say we knew you when. (and I will whisper this in your ear before we fall asleep.;)

    Love your new blog.

  2. Well, I ain’t gonna do all that stuff Kimberly’s gonna do, but I’ll try spelling your name right. How’s that for a start?

  3. Excited to read your posts, and love the look of your blog. Best to you and Kimberly!

  4. Took me FOREVER to name my book. FOREVER.

    And I wanted to name it all along, but I just couldn't nail it down! Drove me MAD!

    Congrats on the new blog! :) Keep up the goodness!

    And might I suggest scanning those awards and posting them as reasonably-sized JPEGs for us to see on here? I love visuals that accompany posts. But I am a nerd. So take that for what it's worth. :)

  5. Dmytry here:

    Kimberly: I love you.

    Jon Zerofourteen: Thanks so much for trying to spell my name right. I tried extra hard to spell yours just now ;)

    Michele Shaw: Thanks so much. I hope I keep you entertained long enoguh to turn you into a mindless zombie follower of my blog ;)

    Chad Thomas Johnston: Great Idea! As soon as thou gets a scanner thou shall scan!

    PS: I'm sure you found an awesome title. Or perhaps it found you. Either way, I'm glad forever is over.